þÿ



Lost and Not Found



A Novel by

Teel McClanahan III



Modern Evil Press

Phoenix



ISBN: 978-1-934516-52-2



eBook Edition



Copyright © 2003-2004 by Teel McClanahan III



Some Rights Reserved.



This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA.



This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, entities and incidents either are the product of the author s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher.



Published by Modern Evil Press, Phoenix, AZ



ISBN: 978-1-934516-01-0 (paperback)



ISBN: 978-1-934516-52-2 (E-Book)



 



  for Sara  



 



 I m going to write a novel. 



The words slipped out of his mouth and into the empty room as though he had intended to say them, but before that very moment it had never occurred to him that he would write much more that the totals in his checkbook at the end of the month. When he was younger, maybe & He had had foolish dreams of writing fanciful stories when he grew up, but now he had a firmer head on his shoulders, and spent no time or thought on such trifling fancies.



Still, as those words hung in the air of his bedroom they came to feel more and more right. He began repeating it to himself, quietly at first:  i m going to write a novel & i m going to write a novel &  The more he heard the words coming out of his mouth, the more he believed them, and he began to grow louder and more confident.  I m going to write a novel. I m GOING to write a novel &  He was nearly shouting by the end of this apparent bout of some shunned and bottled part of him asserting itself against even the restraint of sane volume ( I M GOING TO WRITE A NOVEL!!! ) when suddenly he stopped, stood up and walked out of the room.



He simply had to tell someone. He hurried over to the phone and began to dial Ariadne, but just as the fingers on one hand were pressing the final digit his other hand was placing the receiver back down onto the cradle. He stood slack-jawed like that for several minutes. Nothing happened. Perhaps he was thinking. With him though, you could never really be too certain about where his mind was at any particular moment.



Finally he moved again, this time retiring to his study and sitting down at his computer. He had apparently decided what he needed to do first, and it was not to go shooting his mouth off about writing a novel with no plan, no research, and no story in mind. Not to Ariadne. His analytical mind wanted to be prepared for the conversation the repressed part of him had nearly gotten him into before he regained control over his facilities. He brought up a browser window and began searching the internet for information on the subject of writing novels.



Who writes novels? How long is a novel supposed to be? How long does it take to write a novel? Once he was done, could he get it published? Some of these answers were fairly cut and dry: Everyone, it seems, writes novels. Which is why, No, he probably couldn t get it published right away. Others were open to some interpretation. Some authors took years to get even the shortest of novels produced. Some of the highest paid authors in the world could turn out thousand-page manuscripts somehow within a matter of a month or two. Length itself was a very fuzzy matter. While he had thought that the average novel he had read was no less than 300 pages, he learned that that was longer than the average novel published by any major American publisher by about forty pages. Isaac Asimov said that if it s less than 70,000 words it isn t a novel, but most major publishers in America won t even consider an author s first novel if it were longer than 70,000 words. Conflicting information, indeed.



As he was learning about other publishing options available to him such as print on demand services, he stumbled across a group that challenged people to write a short novel in only a month, forsaking classical concerns such as quality and complexity in favor of getting a lot of words written very quickly and generating a feeling of having accomplished something worth being proud of: If you managed to do it the way they suggested, you would be in that small, elite group of authors who have not only completed a novel, but have done so in only a month. To show they were not afraid of making an already challenging goal more lofty, they did this every year in February, leaving only 28 days to write an entire novel. He knew the voice that had burst out of him earlier certainly seemed to have the drive to push a novel out of him in four short weeks, and regardless of whether he had realized it, that now-very-aggressive part of him was already signing him up for it on the site. He considered it a great stroke of luck that it was only about a week until February began, as he wanted to get started right away.



He NEEDED to get started right away.



He found that the website was already quite active with thousands of people he had never heard of all gushing about their hopes and dreams for their upcoming novels and giving each other advice about how to get past blocks and how to keep up the necessary daily word-counts. There were people already planning to get together by city for group writing sessions, and it was then that it occurred to him that he didn t really know any other real writers. ( How odd,  he thought to himself,  that I already consider myself a  real writer  without having written even the first word. ) While he suddenly found himself possessed with a singular drive to write which he had not felt since high school, the idea of sharing the writing process with friends would make the whole thing even better. He wasn t sure it would be the same with strangers, so he set himself on the idea of convincing his friends to sign up as well.



* * * * * * * * * * *



The next day at work, he mentioned his plan to his old friend John. At first, John thought he had lost his mind.  Write a novel in twenty-eight days? You re crazy. 



 I think crazy is a little strong. I m ambitious. I have high hopes. I may even fail, but none of that makes me crazy. Besides, there are thousands of other people attempting the same thing. 



 That just makes them crazy, too. When are you planning on writing this  novel ? After work and on weekends? How can you possibly find the time to get it done? 



 I plan on devoting myself to it. Giving up a few social activities in February if I must. I ll be done in a month either way, so it s not like I m forfeiting the rest of my life. Just a month to see if I can get this thing done. 



 If I didn t think it was impossible, I might join you, you know. I ve always wanted to try my hand at writing. 



 That s just what I was hoping you d say. And it simply isn t impossible. Last year 40% of the people who signed up finished on time. We aren t trying to write something immense like The Stand, the goal this month-short novel group set for themselves is only a fifty-thousand-word minimum. 



 Fifty thousand words? That s not really a novel, is it? More a novella. 



 You read too much Asimov. 



 What? 



 Nevermind. It s a short novel. There are some differences in the content and intent of novels and novellas, not just the length. Plus, fifty thousand words is a good starting point that ensures that your novel is at least about a couple hundred pages. I may end up writing something a lot closer to the length you more commonly associate with novels. It just depends on what serves the story. 



 So you have a story in mind already? 



 Not really. I m batting a few ideas around and I m sure I ll be able to come up with something, even if it doesn t turn out to be the novel of the century. 



 I think I might try this. I m not saying I think I ll finish, but at least I ll be giving my best shot at it. 



 Cool. It ll be a lot more fun for both of us to do it with someone else. I think that s why they all do it in February every year, instead of just whenever anyone feels like starting. 



 Yeah, except & Wait! I m going to that convention with Marketing the entire first week of February! I can t write a novel in three weeks. 



 Well, you can try. You can even work on it at the convention. I know you won t really be paying attention to those dreary speakers most of the time, and it ll just look like you re keeping diligent notes. 



 Well maybe & Maybe you re right. This convention may actually give me a head start on you, since you ll be working here full time the entire month. 



 Just so long as you still do it. Having a friend doing the same thing has got to make it easier than trying to do it alone. 



 You just want someone to hold you accountable, make sure you don t quit halfway through. 



 No, I m more worried I ll quit after only a few pages. 



 No problem. I ll be glad to harass you for an entire month about how you re not spending enough time writing. 



 I wonder if we can talk anyone else into doing it. Maybe Ray or Paul. 



 Paul probably won t go for it. He has some crazy idea the world is going to end on Leap Day. He won t shut up about it lately. I doubt he ll bother writing a novel that he believes will be destroyed as soon as he finishes it. 



 Leap Day? I forgot about that! I guess that means we get twenty-nine days to write the novel in. As far as Paul spouting doomsday predictions, he s been doing that since we were in high school. I thought he gave it up, though. 



 I guess he s started up again, then. He said something about some bad calculations or something giving him the wrong date back then & whatever. It s all rubbish to me. 



 Still, it won t hurt to ask him. Maybe he ll want to write a novel about the end of the world. 



John laughed.  He might go for that one. Try to get his crazy ideas down on paper. 



 That reminds me, what about Sally and Ariadne? 



 True, true. Why don t we bring the whole thing up tonight at Rooster s? 



 I almost forgot it was Thursday. That s a good idea. 



 Alright. See you then. 



 Sure. 



Every Thursday for years, he and his friends had been getting together and hanging out at The Rooster s Rump, their neighborhood pub. Over the years, as each of their group moved farther and farther from The Rooster s Rump, they had all still attended. It was too much of a tradition to give it up; if they were still in driving distance, they would be there, rain or shine.



They weren t even sure why they still went to The Rooster s Rump anymore, except that they always had. The food wasn t great (though they all knew a few items that weren t on the menu but which always seemed to come out alright), and most of them had given up drinking (some for dietary reasons, some for financial concerns, and at least one because he thought drinking was a bad idea), but The Rooster s Rump was home, so that was where they met.



He went straight home after work to check his messages and change clothes before heading right back out again. He slipped into some jeans and a t-shirt and headed down to The Rooster s Rump. It was still his neighborhood bar, even if some of his friends were coming from thirty or forty miles out. It almost wasn t worth the drive since the walk would be so short, but he wasn t like his friend Paul who rode a bicycle everywhere he went. He had allowed himself to become a good, old-fashioned lazy American. He saw Paul locking up his bike and waved as he pulled into the parking lot. He was right on time.



 Did you two come together today? It s been such a long time!  This was Linda, standing up as he and Paul walked in together and giving them both big hugs.  How ve you guys been? 



 Pretty good, Linda. Are you in town for some sort of convention, or just to see my smiling face? 



 Oh Paul, you know I could never resist that smile. 



 And for the record, I wouldn t let Paul ride in my car if he paid me. 



 Like I d want to ride around in that deathtrap anyway. I get around fine under the power of my own two legs. 



 Now you two keep calm,  soothed Linda,  Let s all just try to have a good time tonight. 



 We re just kidding around anyway, right man? 



 That s right. We ve really got to get a new schtick though. People have heard this one so many times they stop us before we even get started in on it.  He gave a sidelong glance at Linda, and smiled before he turned back to Paul.   Surely there must be something else we can disagree about than basic transportation. The old car versus bike routine is getting old. 



 Well, considering there s only about five weeks left in which we could polish it, how about we just stick to this one for now. If you re still interested after March 1st, give me a call. Assuming there will still be telephones and service by then, of course. 



He let out a deep sigh.  Not this again, Paul. 



 What are you two talking about now?  asked John as he came in and sat down with them.



 Paul s started in on his Doomsday theories again. 



 What d I tell you? He s been getting really weird about it all again lately. 



 Hello! Earth to you three! Linda here, wondering what the heck you re talking about. 



Paul brightened up at the thought of being able to explain it all again. Not very many people in the grand scheme of things took him seriously, but he knew he was right, and that everyone had a right to know.  The world as we know it is going to end on February 29th, this year. I ve been saying it for years and years  



John interrupted,  He has. Since high school. Of course, back then it was coming on a different day & 



 Yes, yes, I ve known for over a decade that this day was coming, and have been trying to warn people about it. 



 Then why is this the first time I ve heard you mention it? 



 Because you ve been very lucky, 



 Until now,  finished John. 



 Give it a rest, guys.  Paul turned so his back was as much to the two of them as possible while still facing Linda, and continued.  This isn t some sort of flawed biblical translation or based on a secret code in the Torah or the Cabbala or the Qu ran. I haven t joined a doomsday cult that told me to give them all my worldly possessions because we re all going to die next month. I ve simply known that the world was going to end on February 29th, this year, definitively for, like these two fools said, just over ten years. 



 Leap day? I thought the loonies were saying it was supposed to be Cinco De Mayo last year or something. 



 That was based on bad math. 



 Oh yeah, that s right. I saw some weirdos on a Jerry Springer followup episode trying to explain why the world hadn t ended. They said they d fouled up their  celestial navigation  or something, and it would be this year instead. 



 Weirdos aside, that s just what I ve been trying to tell people like these two. I m not alone. I was alone back in high school, but as soon as I double-checked my own math years ago and placed the date properly on Leap Day I ve learned of more and more groups and individuals who say that they have discovered one way or another that something big is coming on February 29th, this year. A couple of years back, some scientists projected that the Earth s magnetic field, which reverses polarity about every ten thousand years, is scheduled to reverse again on February 29th. Who knows what catastrophic effects something like that could have on global climate or electronic systems? The last time it happened, the world descended into an Ice Age.



 A group of monks have recently split off from the Catholic Church, saying that the Church s position that Jesus  second coming should be kept secret is blasphemy. They are on a world tour, going from country to country, trying to make known their belief based on secret texts they were charged with copying and keeping secret, that Jesus will return to Earth on February 29th. These are not religious fanatics. Most of them had spent decades in monasteries, copying the old texts by hand in total silence. Something they read there must have given them that date. I m not saying I necessarily believe we ll see Jesus walking on Earth on Leap Day, but clearly something big is about to happen.



 You ve heard of the SETI project that analyses information coming in from radio telescopes around the world? 



 Of course. My computer used to crunch numbers for them while I was away or asleep. 



 Do you know why you said  used to ? They found something. 



 I think I remember getting an email about that & but they said they had like, 200 best guesses, right? 



 If you go back and read that email carefully you ll see there s a little more subtlety to it than you first noticed. I know the guy who wrote that email, and he was pretty sure he d get in trouble if he just revealed the whole thing, so he put it all in there so that no one would know the truth if they just glanced quickly at the email before deleting it. But he got it all in there. You see, back at the beginning of the SETI@home project, the whole thing was basically just for a touch of good PR, to make it look like the US was still interested in searching for extra-terrestrial signs of life. The entire thing cost them only a few thousand dollars to set up and a couple thousand a year to maintain by assigning the duties to existing employees, but it did wonders for their public image after decades of spending millions and finding nothing. They never really expected to find anything, since they were basically feeding static from random corners of the universe into everyone s software.



 They had set up a pretty robust system anyway, despite thorough skepticism by the folks in charge, and every piece of data was sent to at least two computers so the results could automatically be verified by the massive redundancy of the distributed system. Then, not six months ago, duplicated results started appearing from out of the static. They quietly stopped sending out new data to clients about a month after that, instead re-sending all the data that had produced what looked like positive results, and then not long after they had triple and quadruple-checked all theses  best-guesses , you received that email.



 What it actually said was that they had found these things that might be signs of intelligent life, and they were going on hiatus. 



 That s right & I thought it didn t make sense that they would stop when they d finally found what they d been looking for all along & 



 Exactly. But they had a good excuse. If you d read further down the email, you d have seen that the excuse for their hiatus was that they were petitioning for more funding. See, the big Arecibo radio telescope is not cheap to rent time on, and they needed to convince congress to give them the funding to rent time from Arecibo to get new readings from the points in space these  best guesses  seemed to be coming from. And before the year was up. 



 Before Leap Day, I presume? 



 Exactly, plus time and money to crunch the numbers on real supercomputers instead of the slow distributed network. Of course, you can probably see why they want more to prove themselves wrong at this point than to prove themselves right, as you might have expected. 



 Wait, no. I don t understand. You re talking me in circles now. Why would they want to prove themselves wrong? 



 I ll explain & See, if they know they re counting down to February 29th, they already have all the data they need. More than enough, actually. You see, what they found, what these bits of regularity in a random sea of static represented, was a countdown of sorts. Yes, it happened to be encrypted to look like static, but so is every call from your digital mobile phone   if picked up by a standard radio receiver, any digital mobile phone s transmission is as much like static as the seemingly empty hiss of deep space has always been. And yes, it was coming from a series of points in space where there are no stars or galaxies evident for the signals to originate from, but hidden there where no one would have seen it but for a silly PR stunt by SETI, was a countdown. If you go to the SETI@home website you can find a star map showing the  best guesses  they want to check; you ll see they all form a narrow, straight band through space, and not parallel to the milky way, but almost perpendicular to it and to the plane of our solar system. 



 Okay, but why did they bother shutting the system down in the meantime? Why not keep the whole thing secret and just keep feeding us the old data? 



 Remember I said it wasn t costing them much to maintain SETI@home, right?  She nodded.  The urgency and weight of what they found called for more resources than they were budgeted to have for the next several years, just to put together a  solution  of some kind. They ve at the very least got to prepare for the possible arrival of a new message, or even a visitor, from another place in the universe. They have to make every person they have access to and every computer under their power focus on being as ready for whatever is coming as possible, and they have to keep it a secret. They re drafting scripts for the President to follow if two-way communication is called for, scripts for the President to read in the event of as many possible scenarios as they can imagine to come or calculate for. 



 Well, that at least is believable,  interrupted John,  the President definitely needs to have someone else tell him what to say. 



Linda ignored John s comment,  Why would the SETI scientists be involved with writing scripts? Doesn t the White House have a staff of writers? 



 I may have misstated; the SETI people are simply doing everything they can to give the writers the information they need to give the President the information he s going to need. They re like full-time technical advisors. Most of them only do analyses, few of them actually even interface with non-SETI people anymore. It s just the original team there that was supposed to be running the distributed network, not any new people; they don t want this to leak out by having a job fair. From what I ve heard, the place is running full-tilt, and almost out of steam already. 



John interrupted again,  Well if you ve heard, they ve obviously let it leak out somehow, don t you think? 



 I told you, I know someone on the inside. I ll get to that in a minute, John.  Paul glared at John, apparently believing that would keep him quiet, and turned back to Linda to begin again.  They ve been using the access they can reasonably use without raising eyebrows or too much expense to monitor the signals almost 24 hours a day. They re analyzing and re-analyzing the signals they ve already got, and the ones coming in live, listening to the countdown, trying to divine something more from the information in the signal, from the methods by which this information may have been originally encoded, about the intelligence that did so.  Paul paused for breath.



 Why are they using this frequency above any others? Why are they encrypting it in just this way, and no others? What makes these methods preferable over anything Man has come up with to date, and what does that tell us about the intelligence that produced them? Is there any natural phenomenon that could possibly explain these signals that has not yet been considered? All of this and more must be addressed, and they must also come up with a decision about how to handle PR if something shows up on February 29th and they re ready for it but have not let the public know anything about it. Do you think you could trust your government if they knew an intelligence from deep space was on its way to Earth and they knew exactly when it was coming, but told you nothing of it?  He paused again, this time waiting for a response.



 I uhhh & I suppose I d assume they knew what they were doing in not telling me. Probably wanted to avoid riots in the streets and unanswerable questions from the press. 



 Well, the government can t trust all the citizens of the world to be as trusting and intelligent as you, so they re already working on the spin control for an event that they aren t even sure is going to occur. You see, the answers to all their questions are still more questions. They have been unable to discern anything about the source of this countdown by what they have available to them. They are as in the dark as they were when they first determined that it was a countdown at all. Interestingly, they have been able to locate information dating back to the earliest radio telescopes regarding the particular patch of space that this signal is coming from, and the countdown was always there. It has been counting down to February 29th for decades longer than I have. 



 You seem to know an awful lot about this,  John said with a big interrupting grin on his face,  are you secretly working for the government, intentionally feeding us the very misinformation you re saying is being created to cover the government s ass in this? 



 Just because I have the information doesn t mean I work for the government. As you both know, I have become increasingly vocal about the upcoming event in recent years. I ve even got a pretty strong following on the web by some of the smartest and most knowledgeable people from around the world, all sharing stories of how they found evidence in their own fields that something is going to happen on February 29th. Archeologists who found ancient prophecies that refer to the date, geologists whose studies have shown them patterns in the Earth s crust that should be repeating in just over a month, astronomers who have seen signs that something very massive seems to pass through our solar system like clockwork, throwing the orbits and velocities of all the moons and planets a little more out of perfect alignment every time it passes by. More and more evidence is appearing the closer we get to the date.



 These aren t crackpots. These are experts in their fields, often with colleagues backing them up, but too afraid of publishing anything for fear of being labeled frauds by their peers. They want to tell someone what they ve found without losing their jobs and their funding and they find my site and share what they ve found. Some of them have been from SETI, which is how I know what s going on there   they ve been very forthright with the information. Working together, the astronomers have even shown that the path described by the source of the SETI message is the same as the path of whatever has been throwing off the orbits of every object in the solar system. You wouldn t believe how worked up figuring that out got them. Of course, the SETI scientists couldn t tell their colleagues any more than the astronomers could talk about the SETI message; where the information came to them from would be called immediately into question and they would be dismissed as paranoid conspiracy theorists.



 The same way these two,  Paul gestured to him and John, sipping from their sodas and keeping their eyes lowered sheepishly,  dismiss me. 



Linda took a moment to consider all of what Paul had just said.  Well, Paul, considering the weight of evidence you say exists, I don t know how I could do anything but agree with you. Still, even you admit that no one really knows what is or isn t going to happen on February 29th. So & I think I ll keep my eyes open and watch for some interesting news that day. Maybe you ll surprise us all by being right. 



 That s more open-minded of you than most people have been. Thank you for not dismissing me outright. 



 Have you ever considered going into sales? I get the feeling that with something people could actually see and feel, you could convince vegans to buy meat grinders.  Paul smiled at this, while he and John laughed out loud, though Linda wasn t sure if they thought she was being sarcastic or ironic, or if they were just being idiots. She continued,  What are your plans for Leap Day, Paul? Do you have a bunker or something? 



 No, I don t have a bunker of my own, although if worse comes to worse, there are people who have invited me to join them in theirs. I actually could have access to NORAD, if it really came down to it. That s how high the knowledge of this goes, and how much everyone is glad I could bring them together on this. Still, it all really depends on what is learned in the next month or so. If the geologists are right, it may pay to be airborne that day, but if some of the other theorists are right, it won t matter where in the solar system you are, you re going to be in trouble. I, of course, do not actually believe that this will be an extinction level event, considering the geological record of it goes back through several eras of life including at least the last of the dinosaurs. If it was going to kill everything on Earth, how could plants and animals survive to the present day?



 That is not to say that there are not those who believe that all life is indeed threatened. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that some vast alien force is going to show up and destroy all life not deemed relevant, or judged to be worthy of continued existence. Like there s some sort of universal traveling judgment system for all life that comes around periodically to eradicate unworthy species. That is the sort of theory that I don t dismiss outright, but which gives communities like ours the negative stigma of the schizoid conspiracy theorist that we tend to have assigned to us.



 At least there is some evidence of species surviving these periodic world-wide events. Sharks, for instance, appear to have been around for every single one of them. Which has lead some of our group to believe that the only way to survive will be to descend into the oceans. They suggest that Atlantis was actually the only city to survive the last time this happened, and they did so by knowing it was coming and taking their entire population under water. When they ascended, presumably March 1st, they knew they had to populate the world, so they spread out to the far corners of the Earth, abandoning their original home and Atlantis, their underwater refuge, forever. This would explain how human life appeared on every continent around 10,000 years ago at once; the originators were masters of the oceans and had no trouble reaching the Americas or Australia. Some go on to say that the myth of the great flood, which has been found in the ancient histories of every culture, is actually the same myth as Atlantis. That it was not the entire world covered with water and only a boatful of people and creatures survived, but that something else happened and the only ones to survive were the ones who covered themselves with water. That anyone above the surface of the ocean was destroyed.



 Personally, I m going to wait until the most possible information is available before I make any final plans about where I ll be when Leap Day rolls around. As it stands now, there is space set aside for me in an underwater refuge, in NORAD as I said before, on the International Space Station, on two flights at supersonic speed, one East and one West, in case we have to race towards or away from the direction of the Earth s rotation, a few other underground bunkers in various locations around the world, so that no matter what country or province I happen to be in when that day comes, and no matter how difficult it ends up being to get from one part of the world to another  & you know, in case word really does get out and mass panic sets in  & I ll have a place to go. There are certain advantages to being able to plan for something like this so far in advance. 



 It sounds like you really have all your ducks in a row there, Paul. You re sure there s no advice you could give someone like me about where to be? 



 You mean someone without access to the private sanctuaries of the hundred most paranoid people in the world today? 



 That s just about it exactly. The average Joe. 



 Probably in front of a TV. And not just when you wake up Sunday morning. February 29th starts well before that. What time zone will you be in on February 28th? 



 Pacific. I ll be back at the home office in Portland by then. 



 Well, what most people don t realize about the way world time really works is when the new day starts. Because of the nineteen time zones between Portland and the International Date Line, February 29th starts for the first time in the world when it is only 4AM on February 28th in Portland. Really, if something catastrophic and global is going to happen on Leap Day, it should be on the news by the time you wake up February 28th. Or we could all be dead by then. 



 That seems really weird. Are you sure you have that right? 



 Yes. In fact,  Paul paused as he did a quick calculation in his head,  by the time February 29th rolls around to Portland, it will be 7PM at the International Date Line, where all dates begin. Whatever s going to happen will almost certainly have begun before you even go to bed Saturday night. 



 That s almost as wild as the prophecy you re selling. Makes international time sound pretty messed up. 



 I ve always thought it was a little weird, myself. Still, it s worked for nearly a hundred years. Why give it up now? 



 Yeah, as long as insanity works for you, why give it up? 



He and John couldn t help but giggle at this one, but Paul didn t seem to realize the slight.  That s the way of the world. Has been for years. 



It was at about this time that Ray and Sally showed up and caught enough of Paul s ranting to order strong drinks for each other, and offered to buy a round for the whole group if they would stop talking about the end of the world. Paul knew to leave well enough alone and gave Linda his card, with a link to his website so she could find out more if she was interested. Turning back to face the rest of the group directly, he simply said  After about a month, it won t matter what you do, you won t be able to stop hearing about it. 



John took this opportunity to step in and prevent another argument or long, paranoid explanation from breaking out by saying  Speaking of next month, my good buddy here has a great idea that I think we d all like to hear! 



 What is it, man? 



 I m going to write a novel. 



 That s it?  chided Paul.



 Come on, John, it s a great idea. I ve always wanted to be thinly veiled. 



Sally spoke up,  Ray, we all watched Six Feet Under. You re not going to get away with stealing their best lines. Anyway, what makes you think that you re interesting enough to want to base a character on? If I were writing a novel, you d better believe it would be interesting enough that you had nothing to do with it. 



 My life? Uninteresting? I think you re overestimating it. I mean, it s dull enough that I spend every Thursday with you bums, isn t it? That s got to be worth something. Some sort of dullest life award, maybe. 



 Dullest life?  John said,  That award would have to go to the great author himself. 



 You may be right, there,  he responded,  but maybe writing a novel will get me in with that oh-so-chic authors crowd. 



 If you think authors are chic, then you really are as dull as John says,  conceded Ray.  I guess I ll just have to settle for honorable mention. 



Not wanting the conversation to get too far off topic, he continued,  You don t have to settle for an honorable mention. You can write a novel, too. John said he would. It ll be more fun than you think. 



 So that s what we all want to hear? You two are planning on writing novels and don t want to be alone in your pain? 



 Something like that,  muttered John.



 But more than that, to share the challenge,  he continued,  we ve taken on the added challenge of trying to write our novels in only a month. We ve joined a group of people who do it every year, but we don t have long to prepare ourselves mentally  



 And to convince you four to join us,  interrupted John.



 Yes, not long to convince you four, and maybe Ariadne, to join us before it all starts. February 1st. 



 Twenty-eight days to write a novel? That sounds a little crazy. How do you expect to finish in time? Have you already got storylines in mind, and just plan on typing them up in February? I can t imagine you could do it any other way. 



 Personally, I hope to not think about the actual content of my novel until day one. No outline, no notes, nothing. I want to see if I can really go from zero to novel in twenty-eight days. 



John responded immediately,  He is clearly a loon. Of course, this was his idea in the first place, so what am I saying? Of course he s a loon. Still, there aren t any rules about not coming up with your idea before February begins, just against actually beginning writing the novel early. 



 There are rules? 



 Sort of. Would you care to explain?  John gestured in his direction as though passing a baton.



He accepted the baton and the conversation as though this were a planned routine.  Certainly, John. When I first had the idea to write a novel, I did a little research on the web to get more information about what exactly it was I was getting myself into. I found a group of people who, every year in February, write an entire novel in one month. So, we know it s possible. Since I didn t know anyone in the group but thought it would work out better if I had friends to get together with and compare notes on how our novels are progressing, I recruited John, and now we re trying to recruit you. 



Paul was the first to respond, saying  I won t have time in February to write a novel, guys. End of the world and all. 



 You re the best candidate, Paul! You could use yourself as the central figure; the tragic story of a man who knew Doomsday was coming, but no matter how many people he convinced, the world at large remained ignorant, right up to its dying breath. You could describe everything you ve been doing to try to let the world in on the coming catastrophe, all the people involved and all the possible ways the world could meet catastrophe and you d easily fill a book! 



John chimed in,  You could write it while waiting for new news, and then when you re one of the survivors, your novel could become the new bible of a barren world! 



 Don t goad him, John. We re trying to be convincing, not annoying. 



 I must have forgotten. What were we trying to convince them of, again? 



 To write a novel with us in February. 



 Right. You mean we didn t already do that? 



 You haven t convinced me yet,  said Sally.



 Or me.  This was Ray.



 I m pretty sure I could write a novel in twenty-six days. I ll give it a shot. I m not writing a new bible, by the way. 



 I know, I know, I m sorry. It s twenty-nine days, though. Not twenty-six. 



 I ll need to leave at least a couple of days to get wherever I m going. 



 Okay then, whatever you need to do, so long as you try. Anyway, the rest of us will have twenty-nine days. And did we mention the book only has to be fifty thousand words long? That s less than eighteen-hundred words a day, if you were going to divide it up evenly. You guys can all probably type eighteen-hundred words in an hour or two. 



 An hour or two, every day, for a month?  interjected Sally,  And in the end we have a fifty-thousand word novel to show for it? That s what? One hundred and fifty pages? That s hardly a novel at all. 



 Fifty thousand words is really only a minimum, and you re right. It s just barely a novel. That s why we call it a minimum. If you want to write a hundred thousand words, go ahead and spend four hours a day writing, you ll have me beat. The idea is not to try to write fifty thousand and two words, but to write a novel in a month. Fifty thousand words is just a goal we use to make writing a novel something quantifiable. 



Linda finally spoke up, saying  Okay, I see how you can get a novel written in a month now. You re just focused on word count, not on how much time the creative process takes. Do you realize that what you ll be coming up with will basically be crap? 



 Yes. I looked at that website myself, and they emphasize that if you want to write the  great American novel  or some new literature classic, this is not the project for you. This project is about getting something written and done. Too many people say they are going to write a novel and they never do. Too many people get started writing novels but never finish them. With a specific time period, a specific word count, and support from a community of like-minded writers, the novel becomes an attainable goal, even for someone with no real writing skill or inspiration. Imagine how good it will feel to get to March first and be able to say  I wrote a novel.  Imagine how much easier it will be to start your second, perhaps higher quality novel, after getting the first one done in only a month. Or just to know that novel writing is not for you, and to have the fifty thousand words of proof always available to you & or burned somewhere, and the memory of that horrible month when you wrote a novel always available to you. 



Linda continued where John had stopped.  I think I m beginning to see it now. You re really just writing a first draft anyway. It is a project about self-accomplishment and self-satisfaction, not about somehow becoming a published author. If you really wanted to get published though, this would at least get you started with the writing. Maybe even give you a good enough first draft that a second or third draft would actually be readable. 



 And a final draft might be publishable,  he finished for her.  I ve even found a couple of print-on-demand services that would allow us to have bound copies of our finished books made, and made available to the public to purchase, for very little or no money upfront. You could see your words in print for less than the cost of all the clubbing you won t be able to do in February while you re writing. 



 Oooh. I hadn t thought of that. If I were really serious about this novel-writing thing, I d have to give up my social life for an entire month, wouldn t I?  Ray s brow became a deep furrow.  You almost had me convinced. 



 We already covered that bit,  corrected John,  you d only have to write for a couple of hours a day to meet the minimum requirements. You wouldn t have to give up anything besides a couple hours a day & well, that is if your novel doesn t take on a life of its own. 



 And if it does that, and you do end up spending a few Friday and Saturday nights at home writing, you won t even notice it on account of you ll be so involved in your own book that the rest of the world will disappear. 



 And you ll have yet another way to pick up  chicks  in March,  added Sally, taking on her impression of Ray s pick-up-lines voice,  Did I tell you about my novel, ladies? 



Everyone, even Ray, had a good laugh at that one. Sally s impression of Ray was just that bad. Or perhaps it was just that accurate.



Linda was the first to speak again.  Well, you ve definitely sold me. Maybe I can use it as an excuse to avoid being handed extra work at the end of the day. You know,  Sorry boss, can t work on the Peterson account, I ve got to get this novel done by the end of the month.  I m sure he ll believe me & 



 And if he doesn t, you can bring him the book at the end of the month. 



 Right. Or maybe I can get one of you to email me your book at the end of the month, in case I don t get mine done in time. 



 Are you already losing faith, Linda? If any of us can do this, it s you. You ll probably end up with a publishing contract by the end of March. 



 And Ray will have a whole gaggle of author-groupies by then. 



 This is sounding better and better all the time. I m in. Of course, the first time it interferes with my nightlife, I m out again. A man has got to have his priorities straight. 



 Priorities. Right. Good to hear you re with us on this one. 



 The more, the merrier.  This came from Sally. Everyone turned to face her.



 Does this mean you ll write a novel in February with us, Sally? 



 I guess it does. It can t hurt to try. Now, how are we going to celebrate on March 1st? A big no-more-novel party? 



 Well, if Paul is right there won t be the opportunity for a party, but let s go ahead and assume at least a couple of us live to see March and plan something big. 



 How big? 



 I don t know & Uhh & 



 How about Vegas? 



 I ve never been to Vegas,  said Ray.



 Ray? Never been to Vegas? Am I hearing this right? 



 What of it? I ve just never been. I have plenty of fun right where I am, thank you very much. 



 That s it! There aren t any major holidays around the first of March, so it should be no problem for all of us to get it off and maybe get good rates for a three-day weekend in Vegas. Anyone who hasn t quite finished their novel by the 27th will just have to spend their time in Vegas writing, I suppose. What do you say, guys? 



 No problem. I haven t been to Vegas in years. I have an aunt there who is always asking me to come out and stay with her. She has a huge place, so you guys wouldn t really have to worry about finding a hotel. 



 Wow, a novel and a Vegas trip. February is looking up. I m there. 



 Count me in. 



 Assuming there s no better evidence telling me I need to be somewhere else and mass panic and rioting haven t made Vegas unvisitable, I ll be glad to join you. I have access to a very secure bunker directly under the strip I can stay in until we really begin to celebrate on Monday. 



 Well like I said, I ve never been. Really, I ve always meant to go, secret underground bunker or no. This is the perfect opportunity. If it won t offend you too much though Linda, I d like to get my own hotel room in case I uhh & need a little privacy. 



 No offence at all, Ray. I m sure my aunt wouldn t want you bringing some drunk floozy home in the middle of the night, anyway. 



 Of course. I ll make the arrangements for the room, and I ll book everyone s flight, okay? 



 You have a  friend  in the business, I suppose. 



 I know a few people, if you know what I mean. Where will you be coming from, Linda? 



 I can book my own flights, thank you very much, Ray. 



 You change your mind, you let me know.  Ray lowered his voice a little and leaned towards Linda so no one else at the table could hear him over the ambient noise of The Rooster s Rump,  You change your mind about anything I ve offered you, just say the word.  Linda laughed as Ray put on his best shit-eating grin, and no one else at the table really even cared to know what Ray had said this time.



 So it s agreed. The end of the world notwithstanding, we ll all write novels of at least fifty thousand words starting not before February 1st, and finishing not after February 29th, on which date we will all already by in Vegas to celebrate finishing our first novels.  He raised a glass, and everyone drank,  To writing novels!  and then,  To Vegas! 



* * * * * * * * * * *



The next day, Friday, began as any other normal day. He woke up, showered, shaved, dressed and ate. He had time to read the paper. He drove to work carefully, driving the speed limit and taking his time to be a safe and courteous driver. He arrived to work nearly twenty minutes early, which was normal for him. He liked to have time to find a parking space, walk to the building, get to his desk and get settled in before his official workday began. He worked normally that day, getting more quantity of work done than his average coworker while maintaining an average quality level throughout. He was happier than normal, knowing in the back of his mind that he was soon to begin work on writing again.



Then, about an hour before the end of his normal workday, his supervisor Kyle came by his desk.  Hey, are you in the middle of anything? 



 Nope. I just finished with Mrs. Johnson. How can I help you? 



 I d like to speak with you about something, let s go to my office. 



 Okay.  They walked down the row of cubicles to the end, where Kyle s door was closed. Kyle reached out and opened it, holding it open so he could go in. Sitting at the meeting table in Kyle s office were his team leader Corwin and Samantha from HR. Neither one of them made eye contact with him as he approached the table. He could feel all the joy that had been with him that day draining out through his fingertips and the bottoms of his feet, leaving a trail behind him on the lush carpet, and by the time he sat down across from Corwin and Samantha, he had the distinct impression that he had become an empty shell of a man.



Before Kyle sat down on the same side of the table as Corwin and Samantha, he handed a document to each of them. It was his latest review. He had scored an exactly average  3 , across the board except for his grasp of company policy and the information required to do his job, where he had scored a slightly higher  4  out of five. There was nothing in this review to be ashamed or worried about, it had been exactly the review he had looked for and expected. The three of them looked across the table at him. None of them spoke for what seemed like several minutes.



Finally, Kyle began.  The company is making some cutbacks. As you know, we just secured our second round of funding, and are trying to reach profitability as soon as possible. In order to streamline our business, we ve been cutting back in several departments.  He could feel heat rising through him like steam, warming the inside of the shell he felt he had become. First building up at the top of his head, then slowly filling him, working its way down through his face, and lowering as he listened.  Unfortunately, I ve been asked to make some reductions in your department. 



He knew they were making cutbacks. One entire department had been laid off a few weeks earlier, and its duties assigned to one already-overworked employee. One of his friends in Development had been cut back to reduced time. Just reduced enough that they didn t need to provide him with benefits anymore. He knew his own department was almost too small as it was, so probably they were looking to reduce costs by cutting out a few hours a week and all his benefits. He never got sick; that would be a lot better than losing his job entirely.



Samantha pressed a manila folder across the table into his hands. He opened it as Kyle began to speak again.  We re offering you two weeks severance pay if you agree to sign this document. You can find a check in that folder for your outstanding salary through the end of the day today. You have one week to decide whether or not you want to sign the document, and a check will be issued to you via US Mail the next business day after we receive the signed document. Feel free to consult a lawyer and have it looked over before you sign. You will be eligible to collect unemployment. 



Samantha spoke up as Kyle paused,  Do you have any questions? 



 Why me? Why not Robert? He s hardly trained. He s only been here  & what, 104 days? 



 One hundred and eight days,  Corwin responded automatically, as though he had been expecting the question.



 Okay, 108 days. I ve been here over two years. I have more seniority than you or Samantha, here. Doesn t that count for anything? 



Samantha opened her mouth to respond, but no words emerged before Kyle spoke again.  It s your reviews. They show you re not working at the quality level we expect. 



 What? We discussed this at my last review, and again when we first went over this latest one a few days ago. A  3  means  meets expectations . You told me yourself that if someone is consistently scoring  4  and above that they should be considered for advancement or at least additional responsibility. I thought I made it clear that I enjoy my job, I consider myself good at it, and I m not looking to have more responsibilities or a new job entire. 



 You re right. A  3  means you  meet expectations , but yours is the most important department in the company, and we expect more from you. 



Now the heat that had been creeping down the shell of his being was filling him, as though the heat were becoming a corporeal thing growing within him. He was becoming upset, but he kept his voice calm and even, just as he had been trained to do with difficult customers.  If you gave me a  3 , which we can all see you did since you were kind enough to give us all copies of my latest review, it means that even with higher expectations for the department, you believe I met those higher expectations. If I have not met your higher expectations, you ought to have scored me with twos or ones. 



 This is not a negotiable matter,  Kyle responded, trying to take control of the conversation,  it has already been decided. 



 I understand that it has already been decided, I just want to understand it. 



 Well, what don t you understand?  Samantha was using her most sympathetic voice.



 Why am I being laid off? Why are you letting me go? What could I have done differently to prevent this that wouldn t have forced me into greater responsibility or another job entirely? I don t understand. 



 We want employees who want advancement. We want a staff that looks to take on new responsibilities. You ve said yourself that that doesn t describe you. 



 So wanting to do my job properly isn t enough, I have to want to not be doing my job at the same time? 



 That isn t what I said, I was  



 That is what you said. You said you wanted employees who weren t focused on the job they were actually supposed to be doing because they were working on getting a promotion instead. That seems counter-productive to getting each job done effectively, to me.  He felt now as though steam would erupt from his ears and any moment, and he was sure they were bright red by now.



Corwin spoke up again,  This isn t about your opinion   but Kyle cut him off.



 What he means to say is, that s not what we want. We want employees who put their full focus and attention to the job they re currently in, AND who are looking for ways they can take on additional responsibility and advance through the company. 



He didn t understand how they could be this irrational without knowing it. He wanted to shout it into their heads, force them to see what they were saying, but his voice, if it changed at all, dropped down almost below hearing as he continued.  That doesn t make sense, either. You can t give full attention to one thing and pay attention to something else. No matter how over-used the phrase is, people can t actually do 110% of anything. It isn t logically possible. If someone is paying attention to advancement and to other people s jobs, they aren t putting their all into their own work. If not putting their full energy into their own work is what you re looking for from the other employees, maybe that explains why I put in the same hours as everyone else yet serve more customers; I m only trying to do my job. I m not looking for a new one. 



Samantha still looked as though she wished she weren t visible, like she wanted to just fade away and not have anything to do with any of it. Kyle did not have a good response, and he knew it. So he repeated himself.  This is not up for negotiation, it has already been decided. Today is your last day, and we have given you a check for the time you ve worked, including through the end of your normal shift today. If you decide not to sign the document and return it to us before the end of the day, next Friday, you will not receive anything else. This is your only opportunity, and we re offering you two additional weeks worth of pay at your current rate. Do you understand? 



There was that question again. Hearing it, he became more incensed.  Why does Kyle keep asking me if I understand, when the part I don t understand is why I m being let go?  he thought to himself in the increasingly tense pause. Finally he broke the silence.  I can see you aren t going to tell me why you re letting me go. I can see that you don t have a rational explanation for it. I can see that Corwin has some sort of personal grudge against me, perhaps because I was offered his position as team leader and turned it down. Perhaps because I trained him for the position he is currently in, though he is officially my superior. I can see that this company does not respect its employees or its customers, and would rather maintain the status quo of corporate-ladder-climbing that has made corporations the enemy of the common man than to see someone actually try to do good by its customers and its greater good. I can see all this and I can see that there is nothing I can say or do to change it, but no. No, I do not understand. 



The three sat across from him, speechless. He looked from one face to the other, Samantha still looking apologetic, Corwin still too dumb to know that he shouldn t look so self-satisfied, and Kyle looking like he wanted to say something. Like he wanted to say  We don t have to take this from you,  and  Just get out!  There were a few words he d like to say as well, but knew that it was not in his best interest to do. What he really wanted to do was to stand up on that meeting table, open his pants, and urinate on Kyle s face before Kyle could figure out what was going on.



Another voice in him echoed forth from its resting place deep inside. It came from a place darker than the hole his idea for novel writing had sprouted from. It spoke to him, and it said that this was an opportunity he d been looking for.



He spoke again.  Okay. I ll take a look at the document. What else can I do? I suppose you want to escort me back to my desk so I can get my things together? 



Corwin, holding back a grin, said  I ll take you. 



He looked down at his hands, laying flat, face down on the tabletop, but hard. The tension in his hands and arms and the adrenaline in his system made his hands look white and waxy like an impression of a skeleton. He could see an outline of his handprints on the table when he moved them away, as though the heat he could still feel boiling inside him were real. He moved back from the table as to stand up.



Samantha stopped him and Corwin for a moment,  First, I need you to sign this.  She slid another sheet of paper across the table to him.  It just says you know you re being laid off, and that we had this discussion. We all sign it. It doesn t hold you to anything, it just proves we had this conversation.  He looked it over. She was telling the truth.



He began to sign it, and as he signed said  I m going to need a copy of this with all of our signatures before I leave. 



 No problem.  He handed the page back to Samantha, who signed it herself before passing it on.  I ll get the copy to you before you go. 



He stood up, taking the copy of his review and the manila folder from the table, placing the review in the folder. Corwin quickly jotted his signature on the page and handed it to Kyle, practically jumping out of his seat to escort him to his desk, then off the premises. Just before he slipped behind Corwin and out the door, he heard Samantha say, almost under he breath,  I m sorry. I wish I didn t have to do this.  He turned his head around to see her as the door closed, but her head was down, her face concealed.



He followed Corwin back up the aisle to his desk, trying to plan on how to get his things together the quickest. He had a few emails, a few personal files on his computer that he d need to email to his home account while he packed up his physical detritus. As he came around the wall of his cubicle he realized that forces outside of his control were still changing his plans. His monitor, his keyboard, his mouse and mousepad were all still there on his desk, but the computer itself was in the hands of Jack from the IT department, who proceeded to set the computer on a trolley and wheel it away, whistling a happy tune. There were two empty boxes already on his desk, waiting for him. They must have been planning this for some time, to make an appointment with IT to send Jack to take his whole computer out at this particular time.



That he would not be allowed to retain his digital personal effects was as great an offense to him as if the company tried to keep him from gathering his physical personal effects. In stunned silence he began slowly going through his desk sorting personal items, trash, and company-owned property. He d hardly noticed that Corwin was still hovering nearby, but realized he was being closely monitored. They didn t want him to take or damage any company property. They didn t trust or respect him at all.



He didn t want to make a scene, he just wanted to get himself together and get out. He wanted at least to say goodbye to John, and maybe make plans to get together later and discuss it all. But something in him wanted to at least try to act out against the company. Before that though, he thought it best to try to see John.



 Can I go say goodbye to a couple of people? 



The expression on Corwin s face was one of resentment and malicious power; he was clearly glad to finally be rid of what he must have considered competition.  No. You are to clear out your desk and I am to escort you directly to the exit.  Corwin was looking for some level of defeat on his face, some acknowledgement of his powerlessness, but found nothing.



 Alright.  He continued packing, slower than before because he was now quite keen on wasting Corwin s time in particular. Just as he was nearly done, he motioned with an oddly shaped  executive gift  as though it simply did not fit, and then began slowly unpacking everything to try again.



 Why don t you use the other box?  Corwin was definitely beginning to turn red in the face. He had been standing there waiting for the satisfying moment of slamming the door closed on him forever for nearly half an hour. People were now standing up in their cubes, watching him slowly get his things together a second time. He wasn t  making a scene  in the traditional sense, but he sure was getting people s attention.



Finally he got the last item into the box and put the lid on. Corwin immediately said  okay, come along,  but before he had walked more than a couple of feet from the cube, he stopped.  What now?  asked Corwin.



 You re going to want my security badge before I go, aren t you? 



 Of course I am. Hand it over.  Corwin extended his arm to receive the badge, but did not get the results he was looking for.



He had turned around and walked back to his cube, setting the box on the desk and beginning to unpack it. The badge was all the way at the bottom, just above a plain manila folder. He set the badge on the desk and Corwin snatched it up like a hawk descending on unsuspecting prey. He slowly packed his things together in the box for a third time. Finally, when he had finished again, he put the lid on the box, and turned to face Corwin.



 Is that everything?  Corwin s face was beet red.



 I think so. 



 Okay, then.  Corwin led the way, angrily marching toward the exit. Just as they reached the door, again he stopped.



Corwin s face flashed with fury.  What is it this time? 



 I don t have a lawyer. 



 So? 



 I don t even know a lawyer. 



 So? 



 So, I figure there s no point in taking that document home with me if I m just going to sign it anyway.  He turned around again and began moving back towards his desk as he continued speaking,  I ll just get it out and sign it right now. 



He glanced back over his shoulder at Corwin and saw that the beet red color that his face had been before had now spread across all his visible skin. What was more, his face had turned an even deeper and more vibrant hue of red. As Corwin stomped after him, it became increasingly clear that this choice of staff reduction had been largely Corwin s choice, and that he was not at all pleased at the way it was turning out. It also appeared that if anyone was going to be making a scene, it was going to be Corwin.



Before this day, it hadn t occurred to him that a grown man such as Corwin would be so paranoid as to his own undeserved position as to get rid of someone who had clearly stated he had no interest in a promotion. Simply because he was qualified to take Corwin s job at a moment s notice and had basically trained him didn t seem like enough reason to get someone fired. The premise was irrational and unfounded and just the sort of thing that never bothered to cross his mind until it was too late.



He arrived back at his desk and found Jack was back, fiddling with something under it.



 I thought you were gone. 



 I thought you d be celebrating by now. 



 I am.  Jack lifted a flask to his lips and took a long pull.



 Dri